Welcome to our review of Destroy All Humans! the game where you lead the alien invasion!
Humankind is under attack by an alien lifeform that is secretly trying to undermine US democracy, bring down its government and harvest the DNA of its citizens.
And that alien… is you.
In 1959 Cryptosporidium-137 arrives on Earth in search for his predecessor clone, Cryptosporidium-136. Crypto-136 disappeared after Orthopox-13 sent him to Earth to prepare the large scale extraction of human DNA.
Pox sends Crypto on a mission to harvest human brain stems (which contain alien DNA due to an encounter between Furon warriors and humans in ancient times) to prevent the Furons from going extinct. Furon genitalia have withered away generations ago due to prolonged exposure to their own nuclear weaponry.
To accomplish his mission, he must battle US forces, infiltrate and sabotage secret government facilities and defeat Majestic, a shadowy government organization led by a black-clad figure named Silhouette.
The invasion is on! I would go as far as to say this game is almost a guilty pleasure. From the start, you are a cruel alien that wants to take down earth and become its ruler. Probe brains, kill humans, pick up cows by the sheer power of your brain and kill them by throwing them back on the floor. The puns and cruel jokes are also all over the place.
Fly a UFO and blast those army troops to smithereens, ah heck, I loved it all. This game is such a blast straight from the start and just as a minor spoiler, everything mentioned so far, just the first half-hour. There is just so much more happening in this game!
Graphically, this game looks so nice and not nice at the same time. I must say there is a clear difference between the action taking place on the main ground and the action in the air. Everything happening on land, it looks just so crisp and cool in comparison to the rather plain experience I got from flying a UFO.
Not that it was bad or anything, the graphics just were not up to snuff compared to the ground action. Sure, they were nicely rendered HD, but just easy looking for the above action. At times I did feel things got a little crowded for my personal likings but hey, I was just destroying more humans…
When I was playing the game, I dreaded one part and just loved the other. When I went down, I was flying the UFO, even the second time around already… I just did not notice I was under attack from outside the screen and before I fully realized, I was already shot down. While rebooting the levels is not overly time consuming, you can just keep going.
What I really liked about the groundwork, is how wacky it is. I changed my appearance, brainwashed humans, and read their minds in the first hour of playing the game alone. I persuaded a beauty queen to follow me outside of town so I could find out how to properly invade the planet called Earth, it just has such a weird depth to it, that I could not help but fall in love.
In conclusion, I have been pondering for some days how to rate this game and just decided to write down all my experiences for you guys. I find the best parts to deserve a flat 9 and the bad parts were 6.5. The median between both is either a 7.5 or an 8. So I was stuck thinking about what to rate it again. At first, I thought this game had a price point of 60 (it is really just 40) and wanted to say it was more a 40 Euro game. Turning out it is properly priced and taking everything into consideration, my score came down to this:
