Vroom in the Night Sky is without a doubt the worst Nindie game currently in the new eShop of the Nintendo Switch. It’s one of those game that’s created in a couple of hours to lure new Switch owners into buying it. The only good thing about the game is that the suffering only takes two hours, after that, you’ve seen it all. But believe me, those will be two of the longest hours of your life.
You just buyed a new bike
No that’s not a typo, that’s just one of the many Engrish examples the game has to offer. The game is developed by a Japanese developer called Poisoft. If that doesn’t ring a bell, no need to worry since it’s a name you can easily forget after booting up Vroom for the first time. If there is a story worth mentioning I wouldn’t even be able to tell you something decent about it. The reason? Bad Engrish. I understand that hiring a professional translator isn’t that cheap, especially when you created this game on a budget of a five-year-old. A possible solution would be to keep the game on the Japanese market only but for some reason, the developers thought their knowledge of the English language was sufficient to try it themselves, sadly they failed miserably. You know you’re not playing a quality a game when the shop indicates you just ‘buyed’ a new bike.
As far as I understood, you’re playing as Magical Girl, Luna – or Tsukie, whatever the translation suggests. Luna goes from boring world to boring world to collect a total of ten magical floating stars. Luna seems to be some kind of witch since she’s constantly carrying a broom on her back. Why she doesn’t use that to float around remains a mystery but for some kind of absurd reason, she likes to ‘soar’ in the night sky on a magical bike at the crazy speed of 30mph. Yes, she’s a real daredevil that girl.
Eight stages, wake me up when I’m done, please
Let’s talk about the stages for a moment. The game, if you can even call it that, offers eight different stages filled with a lot of ugly static models. You know, it’s kind of popular to go for a retro look nowadays but this is just ridiculous. The game looks like some kind of prototype that still wouldn’t make the cut on a Nintendo 64. It’s crazy how ugly and empty the worlds are and if they do offer a little more objects, the developers decided to cover them in fog. Perhaps they were worried the Nintendo Switch couldn’t handle all those ugly pixels at once but it’s just too ridiculous to even describe. I’m guessing this game was created in a couple of hours in a bedroom of a developer who learned the basics of 3D modeling thanks to some YouTube videos.
So, what would you like to do in levels like these, aside from running away as fast as possible? Well, I could think of some fun things to do, but apparently, the developer had a hard time imagining what could be fun. So, you’re chasing around after ten floating stars that are just hiding in plain sight for some kind of reason. After you collect them all, you can travel to another boring world using a generic boring stargate. Oh but wait, there’s more! You can collect stardust to use in the store so you can buy more bikes! And let us not forget the other mysterious girl that randomly appears in the levels! You can shoot her for extra bonus points. Fun right? No, not at all…
Alright, the developer tried to do to something unique by adding the unique HD rumble the Nintendo Switch has to offer. The developer was aiming to mimic the different engines of the different bikes but in fact, they just created the most irritating rumble function ever created.
Verdict
| The Good: | The Bad: |
| + You’ll appreciate your other Switch games more | – Everything about it |
I think I’ve said it all in this review but if, for some reason, I’m not that clear: stay away from this product. It’s not worth your money and definitely not worth even a second of your time. How do you rate a game this bad? Well, I won’t think about it that much since the developer clearly did the same. 0.5 out of 5 for the effort of including the most annoying rumble function ever.
