Grab a cup of coffee and tune into some metal. Are we all done? Alright, let’s get on with our review of the arcade classing beat ’em upper Coffee Crisis, out now for Nintendo Switch.
Coffee Crisis – Arcade Madness
Like I already mentioned in the above summary of the game, Coffee Crisis is an arcade-style beat ’em up that pays homage to the 90’s era of classic arcade and 16-bit brawlers. Think about games like Brawl Brothers, Streets of Rage, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (in a way) or even The King of Dragons. Add some Metal and crazy humor to it, and you’ll end up with a game like Coffee Crisis. Storywise it’s simple and straightforward; The Smurglian race has come to Earth and they’re not leaving until they steal our most prized commodities: our metal music, the best coffee, and all of the WiFi (well, Ok Boomer). Get in the shoes of the only baristas on Earth with enough heavy metal in their veins to fend off this alien assault. You get to join Nick and Ashley in their battle to defend their Black Forge Coffee House against the evil race of Aliens.
Physical Coffee
Originally released on the console as a physical cartridge for Sega Genesis and Mega Drive in 2017 and digitally for PC in 2018, by Mega Cat Studios. And yes, I’m talking about actual cart releases, not an emulation, literally programmed onto the carts. You can check out more on this in our upcoming interview with Mega Cat Studios, which is planned for the end of this month. End of 2019, the game was released on the Nintendo Switch and flew a bit under our radar. I personally have really great memories of the Arcade Turtles game on the Nintendo Entertainment System, so I was really happy to find a gem like this. Another heavy metal game I really dug was Slain, so more metal is always a good thing.
Coffee Co-Op
So, what do you get? Either play the game in singleplayer or hook up with a friend to go bananas in local co-op. Fight your way through coffee shops, parks, backstreets while blasting heavy metal and bashing the heads of possed grannies with a dangerous amount of caffeine. Since Coffee Crisis features random modifiers a run could turn you into an invincible killing machine or summon a swarm of raging possessed cowgirls. I had some really weird ones, in which my screen ‘fractured’. This made it really hard to make decent swings at my alien-enemies (which looked like regular Area 51’ers). Once you complete a level, you’ll get a password to get access to it again, arcade-style.
Graphical Coffee
Graphicalwise it really takes you back to the 16bit era. I really dig this art style, since Shovel Knight, Punch Club, etc. all feature the same graphical depth, mixed with elements of nowadays games. This is a nice touch since it introduces a whole era to the old school games of our childhood (yeh, I’m old), but also gives the oldies a shot of nostalgia in a good way. The OST is on point and really delivers. It features a total of 12 tracks, smeared out over a total of 10 levels (so it’s not time-consuming, and can be finished by your second cup of coffee).
Coffee-Conclusion
To conclude, if you are into beat ’em ups in the modern sense of play and really dig metal music with weird alien humor? Coffee Crisis is the game for you. You can still get it on the old school consoles if you want, but it’s also available digitally on the Nintendo Switch if that’s more your thing. So grab a local co-op player, brew some coffee and beat the alien brains out of that WiFi stealing Smurglians with a taste of metal awesomeness.
