Be prepared. Nippon Marathon is one of the most what the boulevard-games of the year, and it only just started! Think of it as a crossover between Micro Machines and Takeshi’s Castle – with an added bottle of Japanese weirdness. Enter the Nippon Marathon.
Nippon is the Japanese thermology for Japan, so you can probably guess what the game is about. Running your way through Japan, which is a yearly event, apparently. The always Handsome Hazuki, who looks a lot like Japanese Freddy Mercury, always claims first place. So it’s up to you to slip into your Narwhal Onesie, Lobster Suit, School Uniform or… Dogs Head and take charge! Stay at the front of the pack to claim victory, but can you overcome the trails that the game throws at you?
Nippon Marathon Main Runners
Nippon Marathon is a really weird game. The game revolves around four characters:
- A guy running a Lobster Farm,
- A girl wanting to become a marine biologist and start-up a narwhal sanctuary (which I totally dig, Jedi’s of the ocean and such).
- An old dude who thinks he’s very .. young and crossdresses like a Japanese schoolgirl (and does some weird fortunetelling)
- A dog-ish dude, which wants to start a dating agency, and uses the Nippon Marathon for information-gathering purpose
Engrish Nippon-uh..
The story is subtitled, with some Engrish-voiceover work, which really made my toes curl in agony. The voice acting is so bad. It’s like watching a really bad dubbed version of some popular anime. But hey, maybe that’s part of the game, to make it even .. weirder? The animation is pretty bad as well. It looks like they made this game with a downgraded version of Gary’s Mod characters (polygon figures and such), which move in a generic way. Bystanders look like greyish blobs and move their arms like they just don’t care.
The purpose of the game is really simple. Win each race to progress through the ever-deepening story of the main characters. You start in Group Z (the losers of the losers, which they gave permission to join the race, don’t ask me why), but you quickly climb the ranks by winning and taking out other contestants. I already made the comparison with Micro Machines, and that’s basically because Nippon Marathon also uses a power up/item system. You can pick up fruit (mostly) and fire it at your opponents or create a balloon to fly over obstacles. If you don’t want to use the power-up, you can eat the fruit to gain some speed boost over time.
Fun-Nippon?
The race itself can be fun, it depends on the level of stupid of the AI. They can really be a pain in the ass since they tend to run into you for no reason, which causes you to lose the race. Once you figure out the track and controls, you should be fine and breeze through the races with ease. But do you really want to? There are way more party-racing games out there, with better graphics, no creepy Engrish voiceovers, and better controls.
Sure, if you are looking for a weird party game, Nippon Marathon is right up your alley. You can play it with up to four players locally. And I guess that can be fun since it’s hectic and you get attacked by all sorts of crazy stuff during the run. Okay, it does not have a Blue Shell or Banana Peel.. but it has dogs and bikers which will run you down? Or weird Sake factories .. with mushrooms?
Nippon-Clusion
So, ask yourself. Do I need a crossover between racing and Takeshi’s Castle? If the answer is yes, buy Nippon Marathon, but don’t come crawling to me with: YOU MADE ME BUY THIS WEIRD GAME AND NOW I DON’T HAVE ANY FRIENDS LEFT. If you are a ‘ normal ‘ enjoyer of Videogames, buy it when it’s on sale (deep, deep sale).
